I get an email from Butyoudontlooksick.com every day and today I went to the site to try and find some way to encourage a friend who is struggling with the effects of Lupus. I came across this...
Here are the TOP TEN things he has taught me:
1.
A kiss can heal all boo-boos. Or more to the point- love. Love can heal a boo-boo, smooth over a wrinkle, make a compromise seem ok and spur on a colorful imagination. Love is tolerant and all-encompassing in every way. While a band-aid might help it along, the kiss is what really does the job every time.
2.
Don't forget to smell the farts. Well that is to say, don't forget to take the small things life hands you everyday and really appreciate and enjoy them. For my son this means, all farts are stinky and enjoyable and must be shared by all, including the subsequent giggles. While as his mom I am not sure I want him to continue thinking this way forever, I must admit his smile really does make me stop and smell the farts. (Someone remind me to change his diet.)
3.
Pride is a fragile butterfly. A word or tone from me can make or break my son's day. If I tell him how proud I am of him, his chest puffs up and not even a dragon could harm him! A yell or upset word can make him miserable all day. I am just as fragile too, even if my adult life means having to disregard that
sometimes. I have to remember that a kind word from me can do everything from bring a smile, to save a life. I have to remember, I don't know who lost a toy five minutes ago or who might have lost a loved one yesterday, so their moods might have a reason and it likely has nothing to do with me. I have to remember my pride is important, too and I should have nice words for myself as well.
4.
Dirt is just another word for discovery and all things pretty much wash anyway. Getting dirty means finding new opportunities, lessons and general happiness. I can always take a bath. This means something as simple as playing in the garden, to working through things I find tedious or not worth it and getting something wonderful in the end. Work brings true happiness, but inability to try or move forward brings me nothing but tidy hands.
5.
Honesty is important and can be darn funny too. Okay comments about the lady in the line in front of you being fat aside, the truth is an easy thing. It's what it is. You have to learn to be able to name it, recognize it for what it is and isn't and accept it. If you can learn to laugh about it yourself, so much the better! (Of course your kid pointing out your planet of a pimple in the supermarket is somehow less easy to do this with.) Also, the truth is always better than a lie. When my son gets a shot I'm honest that it will hurt, because the look of betrayal in his eyes when I lie and it hurts anyhow, is heartbreaking and has done absolutely nothing to dull the pain. I can lie about it all, but in the end facts are facts and it'll hurt at least as much anyhow, maybe even deeper for your betrayal.
6.
Always share, because the other guy's truck is much better than yours. Okay, so maybe it only seems that way, but the point is that kindness begets more kindness. If you share, then you get something shared with you as well, from physical things to friendship and love, or maybe just the satisfaction
in the things you do and who you are. (It also keeps you out of the chair in the corner.)
7.
Mommy is the word for everything. Mommy loves you very much. She only wants the best for you and even if it seems cruel or mean at times, she does what she does out of love for you and your well-being; This is the way with many people in our lives. We may not always want to hear it, but sometimes we need to or we may not want to face it, but someone has to hold up that mirror. It seems the people that are honest with us are the ones we reach for in our times of need, too. Caring doesn't mean sugar coating. (And if she makes those cookies for us when we are blue, so much the better!)
8.
You can be a kid again, no matter your age or species. Crawling around my living room pretending to be a cat was enlightening to me. Staying young was not a myth built by Peter Pan, but a mantra I could adapt. I will stay young at heart and in my spirit at all costs! If my son tells me he is Batman and I am Poison Ivy, suddenly I can make vines spring up around his body and ensnare him for my witty monologue! If he is upset, suddenly I am Megatron out to destroy the boy, who is now Optimus Prime! Imagination is what sparks the future and I plan on propelling ahead!
9.
Love is meant to be unconditional the way a dog is always hungry. My son tells me all the time that the dog says he's hungry. I believe him. Love is that way. A bottomless pit that seems to grow outward, just like my son's dog. Also, love is meant to be shared and spread to everyone and everything, like dog hair. (Trust me, there never was a better analogy.) There is no condition or rule that should govern it. Love simply is.
10.
There is never anything to be ashamed of when it comes to who you are. If you are a naked boy running through the house with a towel for a cape, be proud! Shout at the top of your lungs, I AM NAKED BOY! Okay. So if you run around at your age like this, someone may wonder about your sanity, but if you have a crutch like I do sometimes, it's easy to be disheartened by the looks and questions. BE WHO YOU ARE! So you have a wheelchair, so what? Your eyes are still the most beautiful I have ever seen. Or maybe you think your rosacea detracts from your smile, but it doesn't. Everyone is different and in a world where supermodels are airbrushed to be prettier, how can any of us know real beauty??? I would have to say you are it, just the way you are. And my son thinks I must be the coolest person in the world to get to use crutches, and be super robot mom. (Wanna see my blanket cape?)
Everyday he teaches me more and more, that little boy of mine. I love him beyond measure and all the funny things he does. He really teaches me how to focus my life, even as he robs me blind of spoons each day. I think there Is no better school in the world, then the one he teaches me in his heart every minute I know him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find him, if I can get this lump under the blanket to stop giggling.
Jennifer Altherr, Butyoudontlooksick.com, © 2007
